Fran’s Not Here 42 - Dingling with the Dinguses

Listen to or download episode 42

Recorded live at the Free Times Cafe on October 9, 2019.

I’ve got the best TV package or whatever

14/10/2019 · podcasts · fransnothere

Nokia Lumia 1020

just like the Lumia 800, I wanted to write a little blog post about an old phone. This one was important to me.

The 1020 is the only Windows Phone that ever mattered. It was filled with compromises, as all Windows Phones were. It had fewer apps, it was a little slower than the competition, and the downsides of the camera (and camera bump, which in 2013 seemed ghastly but today seems quaint) were real. It barely sold. It barely mattered. But it mattered to me. And it’s the only Windows Phone anyone should ever remember, because it was audacious and insane. Other Windows Phones tried to fit in the market at the time. Similar specs as other android phones. Similar cameras to the iPhone. They tried to make them seem like equal choices. This failed. The 1020 failed too, but not for lack of distinction.

All Black Everything. I liked to remove colour from the screen on Windows Phone. Keeping things stark seemed to match the matte black of the 1020 (it also came in white and yellow. The yellow was ugly. The white was cool).

The Screen. OLED is cool, but you have to know how to use it. The iPhone X has OLED but nobody notices. Android has no idea what to do with it either. I haven’t noticed OLED since Windows Phone. OLEDs best trick is that the blacks are black, and it looks like the screen is off. Software shouldn’t fill the screen using OLED. It should utilize huge amounts of white space around its elements. Windows Phone did that. Long before light/dark modes became standard on iOS and Android, Windows Phone’s default was dark mode, with massive sections of white space acting as the chrome around content.

The Camera. This was the reason this phone mattered. At 41 megapixels (real output was more like 34, but, like, still) the files this phone created were and still are insane. That came with major caveats, though. For one, even though the phone had stabilization, your hands need to be fucking steady. The 1020 would take several seconds to take each picture, so if your hand moved at all, you’d get blur. But when it worked, it was always worth the trouble.

No, but the camera though. I’m still having trouble taking pictures as good as I did on the Lumia. I had a camera grip accessory for it, which added not only a nice bug button for focusing and shooting, but also extra battery life. That always helped things, and I feel like in retrospect it should have just been part of the phone. I’ll make another post showing off some of the better shots I’ve taken with the 1020. It was a finicky process, but when it worked, nothing could touch it.

Windows Phone always had limits. It had a lot of trouble catching up to Android and iPhone, and failed horribly. It succeeded whenever it went in the opposite direction. The less Windows Phone focused on apps and more on categorical actions, the better it was. So, it was terrible at facebook and twitter, but it was great at giving you a list of your contacts and showing you what they were up to across a number of social networks (at least, the social networks that were prevalent in 2011). Instagram never worked, but the experience of intermingling your own photos and everyone else’s (so long as they were on Facebook or Flickr) was superb. And while other phones made marginal photography gains year over year, Nokia leapfrogged. You can be the same and worse, or you could be different. It was nice, for a time, being different.

10/10/2019 · photos · windows phone · technology

Lumia 1020 Photos

As a companion to my Lumia 1020 post, here are a selection of photos taken with the Lumia 1020, all from 2014-2018.

10/10/2019 · Photos · windows phone

September 2019 in Photos

Last month I began making stories of highlighted photos on Instagram. If you’re into that, here’s the same photos but in a higher quality, because they’re literally linked to the original photo in my OneDrive.

8/10/2019 · photos

Logbook, September 30-October 6, 2019

September 30, 2019

I watched The Favourite, 2018 - ★★★★. I feel like there must be an alternate ending somewhere where they get to kill each other with Karate.

I read Things I’ve Learned: Jim Jarmusch, and The Creators of Untitled Goose Game Just Wanted to Make a Funny Game About a Goose.

October 1, 2019

I watched Neon Genesis Evangelion - Hope & Despair, and read Apple Arcade is a home for premium games that lost their place on mobile, and I Am The Horrible Goose That Lives In The Town.

October 2, 2019

Microsoft held an event. Here were my tweets:

October 3, 2019

I recommend this podcast - [Microsoft’s Panos Panay unfolds the Surface Duo](

Ezra Furman is my favorite singer

I went to Therapy .

October 4, 2019

My Wordperfect files from college agree with this.

I added One-year plus magazine subscription | Monocle to my wishlist I read What Do Guys Keep in Their Backpacks?.

I read Grindstone’ Is a Perfect Puzzler to Showcase Apple Arcade’s Promise.

I went to The Rocky Horror Show with my friend Chris Tsujiuchi playing the lead :)

October 6, 2019

I read Mallory Is Not Gone’: Daniel Mallory Ortberg on Coming Out As Trans.

6/10/2019 · Logbook

Fran’s Not Here 41 - 10th Anniversary

Listen to or download episode 41

Recorded live at the Free Times Cafe on September 11, 2019.

I don’t see enough of your asses on Instagram or whatever

30/9/2019 · podcasts · fransnothere

Logbook, September 23-29, 2019

##September 23, 2019

I recommend this podcast - Ends of Evangelion.

People who own a Nintendo switch: have you ever broken off a joycon and handed it to another person in a public place?

At JFL42, I saw Ron Funches.

September 24, 2019

I can’t buy Links Awakening until I finish Chrono Trigger, he said in 1995 and 2019.

There’s a setting in the new iPhone software that makes it so calls outside your contact list simply don’t ring. It’s brilliant. It stopped robots from bothering me this many times in just the past few days.

At JFL42, I saw Michelle Wolf and Byron Bowers.

September 25, 2019

I read Math Work, Do Some Guys Really Run Hot’?, The Triumph of the Walled Garden, You Don’t Drink Scotch”: An Appreciation of Scrubs’ and the Inimitable Dr. Cox, When Getting Tied in Knots Becomes Therapeutic, and The Cancel Culture” Con.

I watched Of Course You’ve Messed Up and loved it.

September 26, 2019

At JFL42, I saw Ricky Valez.

I went to Huy Lam’s solo exhibition, Confluence. Such great stuff.

September 27, 2019

Hey I’m feeling tired and cranky let’s spend time on the tweeting website.

I bought a video game: Theatrerythm Final Fantsasy: Curtain Call

The aquarium gave up on Octoberfest music and has just been playing Fatboy Slim A-sides for the last 30 minutes.

September 28, 2019

What a brave boy #linksawakening #amiibo #zelda

I watched Parasite Eve The Cinematic RPG.

September 29, 2019

I read The Seething Stand-Up Underground That Gave Rise to Shane Gillis, The Good Place’ Season 4 Will Quietly Cure Your Political Fatigue, Lift Weight, Not Too Much, Most of the Days, Going Up, and We’ve Reached Peak Wellness. Most of It Is Nonsense.

Fran’s Not Here 41 - 10th Anniversary

29/9/2019 · Logbook

Logbook, September 16-22, 2019

September 16, 2019

Apple Arcade thoughts:

September 17, 2019

Screams in Kenneth Parcel I love Peacock as a name.

I went to Therapy.

September 18, 2019

I recommend this podcast - Randall Munroe, the genius behind XKCD,

Cura, September 16, 2019

I read Double Dragon’s perpetual damsel isn’t taking any shit in the new River City game.

I read watchOS 6: The BirchTree Review.

September 19, 2019

JFL42 - I went to Todd Barry.

I read Travel Adventures Through Other People’s Instagram Stories.

September 20, 2019

The internet got ruined when we all started using our real names. The only people I still enjoy on social media are all queer nerds going by Pokemon handles. Legit my first email was Raichu” with a number and I should have just stuck with it.

I read Justin Trudeau Has Never Been The Progressive Darling You Thought He Was.

JFL42 - I went to Nicole Byer.

September 21, 2019

I read What Is the Right Amount of Time to Spend on Your Phone?.

JFL42 - I went to Esther Povitsky.

Mosley loves gifts

I read Microsoft: We want you to learn Python programming language for free.

JFL42 - I went to John Mulaney & Pete Davidson.

I watched Japanese City Pop and the Rise of Future Funk.

September 22, 2019

I read Chris Tsujiuchi on redefining Frank N’ Furter as transcendent.

23/9/2019 · Logbook

Logbook, September 9-15, 2019

September 9, 2019

I watched My Aftercare Routine & Essentials.

Logbook, September 2-8, 2019

I recommend this podcast - Ep.293 - Bruce McCulloch, CANADALAND

Thirty Helens agree that The Kids in the Hall was a watershed moment not just for Canadian comedy, but for comedy as we know it. Comedian Bruce McCulloch talks about the legacy of Canada’s weirdest sketch show, Lorne Michaels, and the CBC.

I read AI Is Coming for Your Favorite Menial Tasks.

I read Upcoming Album of the Week (Ending September 7, 2019).

I read Apparently No-One Wants to Live in Rural Lesbian Utopias Anymore :  What the Hell is Going on With Brexit?! : Vaping Is Causing Lung-Related Illnesses.

I read Kill Your Childhood Idols: Why Nostalgia Sucks.

I recommend you read A Good Place: Every Noise at Once does its darnedest to create order out of chaos.

I recommend you read furialog.

September 10, 2019

My tweets from the #AppleEvent:

September 11, 2019

Come to the Free Times Cafe in Toronto around 6pm tonight for a live performance of Fran’s Not Here! Who knows which ludicrously-famous celebrities may show up? #tiff #dontcomehere #toronto #tomhanks #guysitwontbetomhanks #butmaybe #nodontgivethemhope

Fran’s Not Here 40 - The Toronto Goodbye

September 13, 2019

I read [Blogroll keepers #2, ( Hustlers (2019),m and Lesser Known Love Languages.

September 13, 2019

I recommend this podcast - Regional Knife Law.

I read The Yorkville Swindler: How Albert Allan Rosenberg scammed his way into high society.

I read Sprawling out.

September 14, 2019

Do half a thing, open twitter tab, not knowing why, ever.

I watched REJECTED by DON HERTZFELDT (Blu-ray restoration).

I watched Master Z: Ip Man Legacy, 2018 - ★★★.

September 15, 2019

I wish I was better at audio editing. I’ve been making podcasts for 15 years. I’ve improved, but not at the rate I’d like.

I read John Mulaney Is More Than a Funny Guy in a Suit and Tie.

16/9/2019 · Logbook

Cura, September 16, 2019

Note: The playlist embedded above will always be the most recent playlist and might not match the list below.

Cura is my Spotify mixtape. You can listen to it and subscribe here. I keep it as one playlist so it’s easy to subscribe to. I update it fairly frequently, but I also keep an archive playlist so you don’t have to miss a thing.

I hope you like it. I made it for you.

Here’s the track listing for this week:

16/9/2019 · Mixtapes

Fran’s Not Here 40 - The Toronto Goodbye

Listen to or download episode 40

Recorded live at the Free Times Cafe on September 11, 2019.

It’s a much better title than Prime Minister” or whatever.

15/9/2019 · podcasts · fransnothere

Logbook, September 2-8, 2019

September 2, 2019

I read What In The World Is Final Fantasy? A Beginner’s Guide To The Biggest RPG Series On The Planet.

September 3, 2019

Four #podcasts , four very different title styles. ⁦

You’ve got to have freedom to Ape Out

Logbook, August 26-September 1, 2019

I went to Therapy .

September 4, 2019

shhhhh, it’s okay. it’s okay. There’s a new Fran’s Not Here

Fran’s Not Here 39 - 2007

Peloton after 3 months

I watched The Valley of Gwangi, 1969 - ★. Let this be a lesson to you, ladies. Never tell Ken Doll about your tiny horse.

I read Journaling.

September 5, 2019


I recommend you read Magic Eraser Juice.

tfw when you see a listing in the print version of @nowtoronto for our upcoming show.

Come see us live!

September 6, 2019

I read FXs It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’ Takes an Unlikely Path to TV History.

9/9/2019 · Logbook

Peloton after 3 months

Peloton doesn’t bury its data export stuff deep in settings, either. It’s right there on the your workouts page. With this data, I can build some pivot tables in excel and get some data that’s useful to me.

I opened my Peloton account 96 days ago, on May 31, 2019. Here’s what I’ve got after three months.

Number of types of workout

Fitness Discipline Count
Cardio 1
Cycling 6
Meditation 24
Strength 48
Stretching 8
Yoga 14
Grand Total 101

Calories Burned (this would be massively approximate)

Fitness Discipline Calories Burned
Cardio 117
Cycling 399
Strength 2508
Stretching 86
Yoga 568
Grand Total 3678

Time Spent in minutes

Fitness Discipline Minutes
Cardio 20
Cycling 215
Meditation 160
Strength 580
Stretching 40
Yoga 270
Grand Total 1285

Instructor Frequency

Instructor Number of classes
Aditi Shah 8
Ally Love 4
Andy Speer 2
Anna Greenberg 8
Becs Gentry 4
Cody Rigsby 1
Colleen Saidman Yee 1
Denis Morton 2
Emma Lovewell 23
Hannah Marie Corbin 2
Jennifer Jacobs 1
Jess King 4
Jess Sims 1
Kristin McGee 11
Matty Maggiacomo 2
Oliver Lee 3
Olivia Amato 5
Rebecca Kennedy 6
Robin Arzon 3
Ross Rayburn 9
Selena Samuela 1
Grand Total 101

Live vs On Demand

Class Type Count
Live 7
On Demand 94
Grand Total 101

Some data was blank because I only use the app subscription. I don’t have a Peloton bike or treadmill, so I have no data for:

That data would be cool to have, but it’s not Buy a Peloton Bike” cool. A Fitbit would probably give me approximates there. I know the stereotype for Peloton is that it’s ludicrously expensive, but the app subscription by itself is only CAD$20 a month. I’m pretty happy with it so far.

4/9/2019 · Fitness

Fran’s Not Here 39 - 2007

Listen to or download episode 39

Recorded live at the Free Times Cafe on August 14, 2019.

2007 was two years ago or whatever.

4/9/2019 · podcasts · fransnothere

You’ve got to have freedom to Ape Out

I was sitting at the ranch when You’ve got to have freedom” by Pharoah Sanders came on and it bothered me for like three days that I couldn’t think of the movie or the TV show that most recently heard this song on. I looked over all the Internet data bases that connect TV shows and movies to songs and nothing came up and it was really bothering me. Turns out the song was used for a trailer for a video game called Ape Out. So obviously the TV and movie and song data bases need to be updated to also include video games or else I’m just gonna keep going insane.

Also I might need to buy Ape Out.

3/9/2019 · video games · music

Logbook, August 26-September 1, 2019

August 26, 2019

I added Canon EF 40/2.8 STM Standard Lens, Black: Canon: Camera & Photo to my wishlist.

I recommend you read Writing is Easy Work, but Nothing Lasts Forever.

New writing workflow

I watched The Curse of Evangelion.

August 27, 2019

New fave XKCD: How to Send a File.

Writers: you ever just dictate into your headphones out in public like a crazy person?

Movies I’d show in the office if such an occasion arose

August 28, 2019

I went to Therapy.

August 29, 2019

I read When Your Boss Is Also Your Boyfriend, Neon Genesis Evangelion”—“Rebuild of Evangelion”: It’s Happening Again, Astral Chain: The Kotaku Review, Pacific Breeze: Japanese City Pop, AOR & Boogie 1976-1986, and Peloton Is a Phenomenon. Can It Last?.

More accurate iPhone names, 2019

August 30, 2019

I added The classic and understated Caran d’Ache ballpoint pen, made from aluminium, exclusively features the Monocle and Caran d’Ache logos and will give you about 8,000 metres of gentle handwriting pleasure. Trust the Swiss to develop a pen of pinpoint accuracy and appeal that’s perfectly balanced, weighted and considered. Its hexagonal profile signifies its heritage, with the company name being a play on words based on the Russian term for pencil”. to my wishlist

August 31, 2019

I went to The Ex. I did not win at Ex Bingo.

September 1, 2019

Absolutely nothing.

1/9/2019 · Logbook

More accurate iPhone names, 2019

As the iPhone gets older and its naming scheme spirals into marketing nonsense, I thought it might be a good time to give people a better way to describe each generation. Updated for 2019, two weeks before the new iPhones are actually announced.

Original Name More Accurate Name
iPhone (2007) iPhone No Keyboard. $500?!?
iPhone 3G (2008) iPhone apps
iPhone 3GS (2009) iPhone Angry Birds
iPhone 4 (2010) iPhone You’re Holding it Wrong
iPhone 4S (2011) iPhone Siri Not Available
iPhone 5 (2012) iPhone Absolute Jewel
iPhone 5C (2013) iPhone Plastic
iPhone 5S (2013) iPhone The Good One
iPhone 6 & 6 Plus (2014) iPhone Wide Boi
iPhone 6S & 6S Plus (2015) iPhone Wide Bois
iPhone SE (2016) iPhone The Good One Again
iPhone 7 & 7 Plus (2016) iPhone Darth Vader
iPhone 8 & 8 Plus (2017) iPhone 7S
iPhone X (2017) iPhone Rich Boi
iPhone XS & XS Max (2018) iPhone Rich Bois
iPhone XR (2018) iPhone Touch
iPhone 11 (2019) What’s in my backpack unboxing video
iPhone 11 Pro & Pro Max (2019) Apple Card
29/8/2019 · iphone · tech

Movies I’d show in the office if such an occasion arose

Organized by decade





I don’t own any office-appropriate films from the 70s, nor do I believe any exist.





27/8/2019 · Movies

New writing workflow

I made a new iOS shortcut to do quick novel writing a few times a day. But shit, I’m going to have to type in Drafts because Scrivener has a bug in iOS 13. It’ll just capitalize random characters. I don’t know if it’s Scrivener or my bluetooth keyboard, but that’s okay. It’ll be a little easier in Drafts. Less baggage. This is my fourth or fifth time using this script. I read a thing today that suggested the following advice: if closed, knock. That’s what I’m trying to do with this writing practice. So a few times a day for at least 90 seconds, I write some stuff and hopefully it works. If I find myself in a flow state I’ll go longer. If I find it might work in the book, it’ll go in the book. I want to think about the book a little bit more often, and I think a few reminders will help. The Tuesday night writing thing was nice but it didn’t do too much in terms of actually moving the book forward.

So the plan is to write sketches multiple times a day. Try for 5 sketches. 2-3 minutes of writing. None of it has to fit. None of it has to matter.

But once every few days, read them. Filter. Decide if they fit. Re-write them a little to loosely fit a part of the book.

And really, I’m disappointed with part 2 so far. It’s flat. It doesn’t have the electricity that part 1 had. So maybe this’ll help. Pump it with a little chaotic electricity.

26/8/2019 · writing · iOS · Drafts

Logbook, August 19-25, 2019

Monday, August 19

Logbook, August 12-18, 2019

I recommend this episode of Kotaku Splitscreen: How To Avoid Internet Distractions.

Cura, August 15, 2019

Creating a Recommended podcast episodes” Airtable that updates with iOS Shortcuts

August 20, 2019

I read Travel / Walking Gear. God, Craig Mod owns nice stuff.

Fran’s Not Here 38 - Three Hours

I read You’ve got to write… A 33 step guide on how to write..

I recommend this podcast - You are a computer Athlete,

I recommend you read You’ve got to write… A 33 step guide on how to write..

I read I Hate These Chairs.

August 21, 2019

So there’s lots of good tech podcasts that hover around Apple. Are there any good ones with different companies at its center? I feel a little bored with Apple punditry.

The video for Normani - Motivation is straight out of the mid-90s in terms of not only r&b but the three-dance structure of a pop video. Great throwback song.

I watched Where Zombies Come From.

I read Fun Economic Facts.

August 22, 2019

I added Super Mario Maker 2 for Nintendo Switch to my wishlist

I rated When Tomorrow Comes, 1939 - ★½. There’s an off-screen Donald Duck cameo for no reason at all and It’s all I’ve thought about since.

I watched Miike Snow - Genghis Khan (Official Video).

I read Why All Of Our Games Look Like Crap.

I recommend you read Why All Of Our Games Look Like Crap.

I read Advice on writing, In defense of reading the same book over and over again, and The age of comfort TV: why people are secretly watching Friends and The Office on a loop.

August 23, 2019

Instead of making new Spiderman flicks, couldn’t we just release Into the Spiderverse every eight months until people actually watch it?

Some have told me I’m too controversial’ to have an athleisure line” is my new drag name.

I recommend this podcast -,

Ever wish you could retweet two tweets at once? @infinite_scream @lmatsakis

Real effective there, do not disturb. #iOS13

I recommend this podcast - The Secret Life of Alex Goldman.

I watched Broadway Melody of 1940, 1940 - ★★½. Maybe don’t put a juggler girl that good in your first act if you want us to pay attention to anything afterwards. The movie should have ended with the love triangle all getting fired and having Frank Morgan bring her back to juggle into the credits. It would have paid off the crazy antics and tied the whole thing in a bow.

August 24, 2019

I watched Myra Breckinridge, 1970 - ★★★★. The letterboxd average for this movie is crazy. An almost equal amount of 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 star reviews.

I read Every productivity thought I’ve ever had, as concisely as possible.

August 25, 2019

Afternoon Tea at Old Mill Toronto for 3.

26/8/2019 · Logbook

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