It’s All Writing
Why am I talking about apps and stuff when I should be talking about Writing?
Well, there’s morning pages at the bottom of this. It might just be a paragraph but it’s there. I don’t get to write for more than a few minutes every day, but those are often some of the best minutes. I’m an introvert, and every moment I spend with another person takes a little out of me. This time, this writing time, puts it back in. I write, and I spend time alone, so that I can handle being out and about. Without it, I just kind of shut down. It’s not an excuse. It’s just what I’ve found about myself.
Was that the writing? I don’t know. I might use that.
There’s a line in “You’re the Worst,” where Jimmy, a novelist and the main character, defends his procrastination by yelling “It’s all writing!” And this is bs, obviously, but there’s a small thread of villainous truth in there. Everything you do can be in service to the writing. Your life is a big ship, and it only gets bigger and harder to steer. But changing course is possible with enough motivation and a lot of little changes. So I want to be more a writer, so I try to consume more things that push me to write. I try to eliminate things that really get me away from writing. What I carry changes (I’m writing this on a small Bluetooth keyboard that fits in my lap on the train, when I’m lucky/ruthless enough to get a seat). You exercise more, because you need to breathe to write.
So sometimes the only thing I can think to write about is the app I’m using, or the podcast I’m listening to, or the weird workflow I have for organizing my music library. It may not be “writing” or “the book” but it is words on a screen, and some days that has to be enough. I’m going to use it as an excuse to put words on a screen.
When I say “You,” I really mean “me.” All of this is advice I’m giving myself. It might not work for you, or “you.” This is a Mr Robot situation. I’m talking to myself, and I’m talking to you, and I’m talking to myself.
Every blog is a Mr Robot situation, isn’t it?
This is a third act bit.
Hall wasn’t my real name either. They started calling me that in the seventh grade and because everyone I know in high school knew me back then, it hasn’t changed. Every now and then someone will move to our neighbourhood and join the school, and those people may make friends and fit in, but they don’t have the same kind of nickname history. They don’t basically get renamed without getting much of a choice about it, and have that story get so twisted over the years that nobody really remembers why. Why is Hailey Klepper called Lisa Loeb? Did she wear glasses for a week in 1995? Who knows.
“You know what I mostly watch people watch on their phones on the subway?” Banks asked me, likely rhetorically. She was eating those fantastic salt and pepper Vick’s chips and I wanted some.
“It’s like, never porn,” Fourth said. “I’m not saying I’d want there to be porn on the subway all the time, but like, some porn, you know?”
“Some would be good,” I said. “Some would make it seem honest.”
“Friends,” she said. “Everyone is watching Friends.”
“Friends sucked,” I said. “But I get it.”
“Friends sucked,” she agreed. “So what is it you get?”
“People suck?” I asked, likely rhetorically. “Nah, it’s not that simple. Friends is comfort food, easy, and aspirational. I think everyone watches it because they want an apartment that cheap.”
“Are you two drunk already?” Fourth interrupted.
“Absolutely,” Banks said. “And we love you, and are so proud of you.”
Fourth gave us the eye, then walked back to her other friends.